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Talk:Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child/@comment-27581425-20160516190058
Lyrics : I think he said : Gordon Ramsey : And that's how you make a perfect risotto Right, Mrs Child, welcome to the grown-ups' table I've got exactly two minutes and you should be grateful 'Cause I'm in the fucking league with all these shows to pitch I keep my ovens preheated and my pilots greenlit I'm a seasoned skillet, you're a pam-spray pan I've got Michelin stars, you're like the Michelin Man I'm rolling in dough like beef wellington from hors d'oeuvres And I'm shitting on you like I'm wack flows intolerant! Julia Child : Oh, isn't that a wonderful thing? A grumpy little chef who thinks he can bring Enough salt to justify getting rough With a butter-loving queen of the bourginon boeuf I rock hard as concrete on top of these bomb beats Been choppin' the pommes frites since you sucked on your mom's teat I served America dutifully, and I sliced lard beautifully I reigned supreme from shark repellent to charcuterie Go on and cross your arms in that B-boy stance When it comes to hot cuisine, there's one F-word: France! Here's a nice amuse bouche, take a poor abused youth Is that a 30 year timer: Voila! Huge douche! You're a namby-pamby candy-assed pansy (Gordon Ramsey) you couldn't rap your way out of a pastry bag Understand me? that I laugh and create, you berate and destroy But fear my dear boy is less fun just enjoy Gordon Ramsey : I'm glad that you got that off your giant, flabby chest I'd call you Donkey but you look more like Shrek When the Iron Man chef busts a rhyme I'll open up on you like a fine red wine I'm a culinary innovator, you're no creator Regurgitate your French plates like a glorified translator I'm fresh, you're past your expiration date Alright, fuck it! Blue team, drop the bouilla plate (Yes chef!) I'm seen your little show and it sure ain't pretty One part Big Bird, two parts Miss Piggy You can't test me with your fatty recipes Call your book "Mastering the Art of Heart Disease" I mean, it's rubbish! (Yes chef!) Look at page 408 Tell me, who the fuck (yes chef!) would want to learn to cook calf brains You call these croissant (no chef!) they're stale and soft! Now, here, take this jacket...... Now give it back and fuck off! Julia Child : Oh please, your defeat's guaranteed Concede, I've got this in the bag: sous-vide! Michelin indeed you've done well for yourself But as a person, you couldn't get a star on Yelp! I could freeze a steak with those frosty tips And what's with that bitter taste in every word from your lips? You scream at women while the fits that you're pitching Make you the pissiest bitch in the kitchen I'll pat you on the head melt you, and stick it to ya! Anything's good with enough butter! Boo-yah! Oh, I'm so glad you spent this time with me! Now eat a dick! Bon appetit!